Secondhand Grief

I cannot bear the turning of the news,

that endless reel of ruin, flood, and flame;

the thumb keeps scrolling, though the spirit knows

each fresh catastrophe appears the same.

A child pulled from the rubble. Forest smoke.

A graph ascending where it should decline.

Advertisements appear between the broke-

nness of the world and ask me if I’d like

new trainers. Moisturiser. Half-price flights.

The mind receives far more than it can hold.

Lives flattened into headlines, clips, and counts;

the dead translated quickly into rolls

of numbers scrolling past the news accounts.

And still the washing waits. The saucepan boils.

The dog needs walking. Someone needs a meal.

The strange offence of ordinary chores

whilst knowing all that suffering is real.

I turn away, yet carry what I’ve seen.

It settles somewhere underneath the skin:

a residue of smoke, though none has been

anywhere near the house I’m sitting in.

No distance holds. No border stays intact.

The world consists of fibre, wire, and screen.

A thousand griefs accumulate and stack

inside a nervous system never meant

to witness everything.

So some days I refuse

the practiced urgency, the breaking tone;

not out of peace, nor ignorance. I choose

the limits of a heart already prone.

Natalie Harveld

@natalieharveldpoetry

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Portrait of the author as a middle-aged woman